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- <text>
- <title>
- (Jul. 06, 1992) Interview:Margarethe Cammermeyer
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1992
- July 06, 1992 Pills for the Mind
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- INTERVIEW, Page 62
- "I Just Don't Want to Go"
- </hdr>
- <body>
- <p>Margarethe Cammermeyer, a decorated Army nurse who happens to be
- a lesbian, talks about sexual harassment and the ban against
- gays that is forcing her out of the military
- </p>
- <p>By David S. Jackson/Tacoma and Margarethe Cammermeyer
- </p>
- <p> Q. You earned a Bronze Star in Vietnam and were once the
- Veterans Administration Nurse of the Year. Three years ago, as
- chief nurse of the Washington State National Guard, you applied
- for admission to the Army War College. Asked during a routine
- background check if you were a homosexual, you said yes, and
- now your Army career is over. Are there many other women in
- your situation?
- </p>
- <p> A. I don't know of anyone else who has come out in the way
- that I have, or stuck around to get beaten up. My understanding
- is that I am the highest-ranking person who is being discharged
- under these conditions. I could have chosen to resign or retire
- because I had been in long enough. But I really felt a sense of
- loss of what my goals had been within the military, and I was
- trying to find some greater purpose, I suppose, for losing my
- career and having seen so many young people and their careers
- annihilated.
- </p>
- <p> The tragedy is that as long as the regulation is there, the
- military has no choice but to obey it. So it seemed to me that
- perhaps my case could be looked at differently because it's
- coming at the whole process from the opposite direction: instead
- of being a young, untried person whom they're not going to give
- a chance to, I'm dealing with the regulation in light of what
- I have already done.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Have you heard from other people grappling with the same
- dilemma?
- </p>
- <p> A. A number of people have called and said, "I'm a lesbian"
- or "I'm a homosexual" and "I'm calling to see what you think I
- ought to do..." We don't need to lose any more young people
- to this tragic regulation. They should try to protect themselves
- so that they don't have to deal with the confrontation, or lie,
- or put themselves in a precarious situation where they're going
- to have to respond. They should just do their job and do it
- well, and see if they can ride out the storm and give us a
- chance [in court] so that nobody else has to go through what I'm
- going through. As I told one person, "You're too valuable as you
- are, doing your work. You cannot have the luxury of coming out
- to your boss, because that will force your superior to act
- properly within the regulations."
- </p>
- <p> Q. Has your experience inspired or discouraged them?
- </p>
- <p> A. I've certainly gotten calls and letters from people
- saying how much they appreciate the fact that I'm willing to
- stand up and be counted. We have all presumed that there are
- other people who have achieved higher rank within the military
- and left without having to confront the situation or choosing to
- come out. Now there is a sense of purpose, I think, for many,
- waiting to see what is going to happen.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Would people be surprised at how many homosexuals there
- are in the military or at high ranks in the military?
- </p>
- <p> A. We don't wear a label. But I think that those who are
- defending the policy are either totally naive about the people
- with whom they work on a day-to-day basis, or else they live in a
- world that is totally different from the one the rest of us live
- in. Because there is no reason to think that there wouldn't be
- a lot of gays and lesbians who have achieved in all areas of the
- military, the same as they have achieved in every other aspect
- of life.
- </p>
- <p> Q. When there were allegations that a high-ranking civilian
- official in the Department of Defense was homosexual, the
- Secretary of Defense said he had no plans to change the policy.
- Yet he made a distinction between civilian and military
- employees. Is that fair?
- </p>
- <p> A. No. I think that too is based on a lack of understanding,
- a lack of education. Because there really are several levels.
- One is the sexual orientation. If 20% of the population were
- homosexual, they're denying the existence of that 20%. They have
- to deal with the fact that yes, we do exist. The second part is
- dealing with what is appropriate in terms of conduct. The third
- phase is sexual harassment, or sexual advances, and that crosses
- all dimensions of life.
- </p>
- <p> People always express their concern about what's going to
- happen in the foxholes. Frankly, I hope they're fighting the
- battle, because that's why people are in foxholes. But when
- people say that they're concerned about being attacked by a gay
- man or that some sort of sexual conduct might go on there,
- that's ludicrous. They said the same thing about women being
- with men in missile silos, and whites working with blacks. It's
- like, let's put up as many barriers as we can and not deal with
- anything rational here.
- </p>
- <p> I've also been thinking about the comments that are always
- made about the shower rooms and the lack of privacy, and that is
- absolutely true. There is a lack of privacy in the military,
- particularly in the lower ranks, where people are treated like
- cattle and not afforded any sort of privacy for the most
- intimate personal care. And then they say, "Well, we're worried
- about what happens between people in this place where you have
- no privacy." How easy it would be just to hang a shower curtain
- to give any one of us a little bit of privacy and human dignity,
- if that is the issue! There are so many very, very simple ways
- of dealing with what people perceive as being issues that
- probably are not. But it's the only way right now they can try
- to defend a totally indefensible regulation.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Do you see a double standard between your case and the
- "Tailhook incident"? You were discharged because of a verbal
- statement, yet three years after the Navy Secretary said he
- would not tolerate lewd behavior or sexual harassment, he
- attended a convention at which 26 women, many of them officers,
- were manhandled. [Last week, under pressure, the Secretary
- resigned his post.]
- </p>
- <p> A. There have always been double standards. Sexual
- harassment of women has been tolerated in the military
- certainly since I've been there. But the same people frightened
- of being in a foxhole with a homosexual are the first to deny
- that sexual harassment of women takes place in the military.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Has there ever been an occasion when your sexual
- orientation affected your ability to do your job?
- </p>
- <p> A. No. It's such a tragic question to have to ask, and I
- don't know how to answer it so that it doesn't sound trite.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Did you ever get less respect because of it?
- </p>
- <p> A. My sexual orientation never came into play in my work
- setting, so there would be no reason for any of these things. If
- you're wondering if I have a bias, I mentored heterosexual men--I presume they were heterosexual--to replace me in both of
- my last positions as chief nurse. So I don't base my decisions
- on my sexual orientation or on what I believe might be somebody
- else's. I base them on the work that I do and the work that
- other people do.
- </p>
- <p> Q. You say you realized your sexual orientation late, after
- having four children. How unusual is that?
- </p>
- <p> A. Evidently it's not that uncommon to have this late
- awakening, in part because in our society, people my age were
- raised in a very traditional, closed environment. So that was
- essentially all I knew.
- </p>
- <p> Q. What prompted your realization?
- </p>
- <p> A. The main thing was my unhappiness in what should have
- been an ideal marriage. There was a lot of turmoil and a lot of
- feeling that no matter what I did, it was not sufficient and it
- didn't make me feel better. I spent a lot of time reading and
- talking with people who understood human sexuality, and then
- soul searching for a lot of years. So when the time came and
- the question was asked, I didn't have a choice but to give this
- answer.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Had you ever been asked before if you were homosexual?
- </p>
- <p> A. No. When I joined in 1961, I was in college and
- straitlaced and heterosexual, I thought. And then in 1972, when I
- went back in the Army reserves, I was pregnant with my second
- child, so I was not questioning my own sexual orientation
- anyhow. That didn't take place until a number of years later.
- That question is asked now only when you enter the service and
- during these security clearances.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Why did you answer yes?
- </p>
- <p> A. Because I felt that it was the truth. When you consider
- that this was a top-secret clearance, there was never any
- question of not telling the truth.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Why did you join the Army?
- </p>
- <p> A. After emigrating from Norway, I had gotten so much from
- the U.S. that I felt it was my responsibility to give something
- back. My debt was three years of active duty. But I loved it.
- That's why I'm kicking so much at being kicked out. I just don't
- want to go.
- </p>
- <p> Q. If the ban were dropped, what could be done to address
- the concerns of both homosexuals and heterosexuals in the Army?
- </p>
- <p> A. The issue of privacy needs to be addressed, but because
- we're human beings, not because we're homosexuals or
- heterosexuals. Years ago, one of the things they did in the
- reserves to help us understand black culture better was to take
- us down to a black church, and we had a wonderful service
- together. When we left, it was with a feeling of how many
- things we had in common rather than how different we are. If
- people in the heterosexual world could just open themselves up
- to be more understanding, they may find that the prejudice they
- have is based on an irrational fear and is not grounded in
- reality or fact. Homosexuals have the same human needs as anyone
- else. If you just allow people to be who they are, then there
- are no problems.
- </p>
- <p> Q. Are you leaving with good memories of the Army, or is
- this changing all that?
- </p>
- <p> A. Nothing changes my 26 years in the military. I continue
- to love it and everything it stands for and everything I was
- able to accomplish in it. To put up a wall against the military
- because of one regulation would be doing the same thing that
- the regulation does in terms of negating people. It doesn't
- change how I feel about being an American, about having been an
- officer, or having served, or any of those feelings that make me
- feel really good inside.
- </p>
-
- </body>
- </article>
- </text>
-